this weekend in melbourne
Good times
Melbourne International Comedy Festival @ all of the Melbourne (23 Mar – 17 April) – see people who have done really, really stupid things making a living out of telling those stories really, really well. They really, really have the ultimate job.
The Color Run Melbourne @ Flemington Racecourse (16 April) – ‘A rainbow puked on me and my friends so date me’ said everyone’s Tinder profile.
Gauchito Gil’s Malbec World Day (17 Apr) – Gauchito Gil sat astride his horse, his large shoes set firmly in the stirrups against the hide of his trusty steed El Quito De Nero – ‘Dark Matter’. He took in a lung full of fresh Mexican air and turned his weathered face to the sun. Despite the danger he was in, ignoring the adrenaline pumping through his malbec-filled veins, Gauchito’s thoughts were far away, in a warm glade in Santa Poco, his arms around El Taco Corona, his, err, good friend. The crack of a gun shot brought him back to his reality. He turned to his men, alert, awaiting the signal from their fearless leader. ‘Let us make ghosts of these putero’. Camera focus on hoof prints in the sand, sounds of guns and shouting, fade to black.
Preston Block Party @ High St Preston (16 April) – bring all blocks to this party. All the ones you have. To celebrate blocks. In Preston. COURTNEY BARNETT
Looking gewd
Fitzroy Market @ Fitzroy (16 Apr) – get your fassshon did at this treasure trove of labels and sequins with the left-overs heading to the Camberwell Market on Sunday.
Art & the Connected Future @ NGV (16 April ) – discussing: what is the future of art? I will be a tad disappointed if it ends up just being a blank wall with a powerpoint that is only used when vacuuming, cos mum was all over that for years. DONT TOUCH THE WALLS
Supanova @ Showgrounds (15-17Apr) – a pop culture expo that will attract the rest of Melbourne’s singles who aren’t going to the Color Run.
Old skewl
National Trust Heritage Festival (16 April – 29 May) – pop-up museums, cruise, tours, old cars, festivals and YASSSSS DAMPER AND TEA IN THE BUSH literally there is nothing better.
19th Century Bling Goldfields Jewellery @ M.A.D.E Exhibition space (16 April – 4 July) – old skewl bah-bling, costing plastic-note cha-ching.
The BBC Prom @ Arts Centre (13-16 Apr) – the world’s largest classical music festival comes to Victoria. I got my spider nails did and you know I’m wear my fancy Rubi shoes to this, cos I’m a cultured laidee, see.
The Proclaimers @ Palais (17 Apr) – one song, one night, on repeat, 500 times.
eat & drink by the sprink
Tim Ho Wan Melbourne @ 206 Bourke St – even before it opened, people were taking selfies out the front of this Michelin star restaurant by ole mate Wan. Being Melbourne honey, you know they won’t take bookings so wear an extra pair of stockings cos you gonna be waitin, no hatin. Dem Chinatown feels were solid and the food arrived pretty much before we even ordered it YAS I LOVE THAT. It was def worth the hype – stand out was a tie between the prawn dumprings and the BBQ pork roll thingo with it’s crispy, sweet tasting dome. Good for a fifth date – you want to impress but are still not fully committed. TIPS: try the barley water hot, and go on a Monday night as the wait was only 10min.
next weekend in melbourne
Grantville Pirate Festival @ Maru Park (23 Apr) – what is a pirates favourite letter? Arrrgh yes R is a good one but the C will forever have his heart
Bright Autumn Festival @ Bright (22 Apr – 1 May) – the best time of the year for peepers.
Anzac Day Film Screenings @ Shrine of Remembrance (25 April only) – both of my grandmothers memories of the war involved cocktails, posing in bikinis, a night club called The Dug Out and dating American men who would give them stockings. So if you sub out The Dug Out for Redheads and stockings for empty promises, then #MYLYF
South Wharf Progessive Dinner @ South Wharf Promenade (20 April- 22 Sept ) – a degustation tour down South.. Wharf Promenade.
World Penguin Weekend on World Pengin Day @ Phillip Island (23-24 Apr) – honoring the many lives lost during the waddling of penguins up the cliffs of Gallipoli.
