6 – 8 Mar LONG WEEKEND

VAMFF @ REB – with far less celebs than BANFF and far more babes than a pig farm.
As You Like It @ Melb Shakes Company Malvern – tall, white and ginger THANK YOU
Port Fairy Folk Festival @ PF – portly folk dress up as fairies and festivate as one.
Hitch Series Bushfire Benefit @ Moyhu – Dallas fckn Frasca pulls together a mad line up of museos and no one wonders what value the creative arts have on society.
Steamfest @ Melb – angry people blow out their noses hard, at this weekend of celebrating trains
Turkish Festival @ QVM – celebrating the traditional bazaars of Turkey, you’ll find it a ‘delight’. Aaaand finally we have hit new lows at TheSprinkler.
Holland Festival @ Berwick – a celebration of the kid who played the least memorable version of Spidey.
Ballarat Begonia Festival @ the Rat – I truly do not trust a person who’s house isn’t full of pot plants.
Applefest 2020 @ Harcourt – fun fact: a few hundred years ago, the fuji apples of Japan used to be tended to by ninja warriors who lost their jobs.
Nepalese Festival @ Fed Sq – lel I just wrote Nipplese
Moomba @ Melb – Sprink was in TWO Moomba parades and is still waiting to be crowned KWEEN OF MOOMBA
RnB Beach Party @ St Kilda – is an event, not the name of a CD from 2003
Chillout Festival @ Daylesford – Sydney’s Marid Gras-ers REFUSE to pack up the wigs, so pile into a bus and head to the country where they are met by some interesting locals. Hilarity ensues. 4.5stars.
Lost Trades Fair @ Bendigo – who TF lost Trade? Where did he go? It ain’t fair.
Taste of Rutherglen @ Rutherglen – dress up winery walkabout attended by country kids under 30, and new-grandparents from the eastern suburbs who are actually just going to the pokies “country pokes payout more than the Box Hill RSL” claims Julie, 68yrs, Doncaster.|