9 – 11 August

Xmas Near July @ Mamasita – a party for you all chucked by Maddawg Nicko the guy who owned a restaurant in Spain with Julian Lennon, and once had a bottle of Southern thrown at him by an Underbelly guy.
Flinders Quarter Augmented Art Walk @ City – by iPhone to watch the streets come alive… with the sounds of the Metro tunnel being dug up. Also side note: my friend is getting down with one of the guys digging the hole and according to her ‘he is good at this job’ so like, I don’t really know what my point is other than to say my friend is scoring a guy I finally approve of, her track record is worse than mine. She literally dated a guy from Married At First Sight. By choice. For a year. 
I Am Art Expo w/ Homie @ West Melb – where you can swipe right on Tommy Little IRL
Luminous @ Arts Centre – lit like Cardi B
Rain Room @ Melb – everyone keeps talking about this event and all I’m hearing is that Madonna song in.
Bendigo Writers Fest @ duh – the poorest creatives in Victoria come together by an empty mine shaft to talk about how cold it is this week, and who is playing in Castlemaine.
Ladies Night @ Sth Yarra –  I took my 95yr old grandma to see their Magic Mike show once, and she encouraged – nay, demanded – I go on stage to get face-thrusted 11/10 would recommend
Blender Market @ Docklands – if street art is for sale on a canvass is it even Melbourne. Ask yourself.
Ujamma@ Footscray  – will Ubejammaing, cos I will
Greek Food Fest @ Melb – proudly supported by award wages
Brown Sugar @ The Night Cat – pour it alllllllll over me