29 – 31 March

Melbourne International Comedy Fest – the greatest event of the year.
Cherry Bar Farewell – You’re all going to have to deal with the fact this place is moving and stop being whinging binches about it. It could be worse, they could have hosted Lady Gaga’s party that time but they were the bar that said nah #supportthemove
Melbourne Flower and Garden Show – hmm also the best event in Melbourne can someone pls get me a free ticket THANKYOU
Murial’s Wedding – lol I nearly wrote weeding because *as above
Charity Bake Sale for CHCH – Ben Shewry is from NZ OK go buy the baked stuff thank you
Flash Mob – only putting this in because LOL people are still doing flash mobs
Beethoven, Motzart and Sibelius – um can someone please tell the MSO to do a Christmas charity calendar? Could their musicians be anymore sultry? *trademark: MSOOooooh
The Jack Earle Big Band – Red Hot Rhonda once told Social Media Guy Sam to double drop Beroccas if he is ever hungdawg. Words from an angel right there.
Britnaaaay & Xtina Dance Class – gimme some room, I’m comin through, paid my dues damn straight I AM IN THE MOOD AND THIRSTY I MEAN DIRRRRTY
Kensington Community Festival – I haven’t been here since 2000 when I dated Trent who lived with his cousin who had PTSD from being a refugee crisis psychology person. The helpers need help too.
Peninsula Picnic – all blazers, no socks. Typical.
Out of Character – instead of showering in the morning, I once showered before going to bed. It was the most fcked up thing I have ever done and I do not wish it on anyone. Lesson: never change
Big Gay Brunswick Party – srsly this warehouse has got to be one of the best party venues in Aus #overlooked
Pet Expo – meet your next ex