This is Warren (and Jake).
Warren is a boss bish banker with a ridic successful career #girlpower. She makes billion dolla dolla deals during the week, eats popcorn for lunch, and spends the weekend at Shoppo in her trackies. She is used to making all the big decisions but most recently made an extra big one to undergo major surgery on something that would forever change her life.
Were your scared going into the op?
I was mostly scared about the needle in my wrist. I also didn’t realise there would be one going into my spine.
Did you ask for any special conditions while in there?
I asked them to turn down the lights because I could see my own reflection in the light above me. They said no because apparently they needed to see what they were doing.
What was the weirdest thing about the op?
Being awake. I could feel their hands inside me, moving things and pulling and tugging. Suddenly a head popped over the screen and I was a mum.
Coolest thing?
The doctors and nurses during the operation were b*tching about office politics, competing hospitals and their work conditions. The anesthetist (who was also the photographer) leant over at one point and said “Don’t worry us b*tching means everything is going fine”.
Also, it was so quick. He was out in 15min, and I was out 30min after that – think it had something to do with a placenta. Which I did not take home to cook in a curry.
What did they do with Jake?
They tested him at 1min of being born and then 5min. It’s critical and it’s called Apgar which stands for appearance pulse grimace activity and respiration. He passed 9/9. Then they gave him to me and I suddenly thought “OMG WTF do I do with this?”
WTF do you mean WTF? This was your idea –
It was still a surprise. An hour ago I was footloose and fancy free despite having watermelon in my stomach. I could drive anywhere, go away for the weekend, sleep all day if I wanted to. Suddenly I’m responsible for another human being. It’s a really overwhelming feeling. There is nothing that can prepare you for what it’s actually like.
What’s the love feeling – is it like what they say in the movies?
When he’s crying at 3am not so much. But when he is cuddling you on the neck yes very much. And it feels like you’ve know him forever. Also he is really kewl. His first outing was to Shoppo and yes he wore trackies.
What are some things that they don’t tell you about?
- You’ll be bleeding for weeks
- Breastfeeding can hurt like hell
- Around Day 5 you cry your eyes out. Your hormones go crazy and you become overwhelmingly depressed. It happens to absolutely everyone
- C-section is actually major abdominal surgery and it takes a lot of time to recover
