29 Sept – 1 Oct

AFL Grand Final @ MCG (30 Sept) – the Tiges win, and Punt Road traffic comes to a standstill, which is highly unusual.
The Costume Designer: Edith Head and Hollywood@ Bendigo Art Gallery (29 Sept – 21 Jan) – a tale about how she got a head in Hollywood
Kader Attia @ ACCA (30 Sept – 19 Nov) – after years of denying his true self, Darth Vadar takes inspiration from I Am Caitlyn and gets his hurrr DID
National Photographic Portrait Prize @ MPRG (28 Sept – 26 Nov) – Natalie ‘Photographic’ Portman gets a prize
Grand Final Friday @ Queen Victoria Market (29 Sept) – for those whose prefer eggs to balls.
Fundraising for Syria @ Collingwood (28 Sept) – raising the funds for the peoples with the needs.
How To Start a Girl Gang @ Fitzroy (28 Sept) – yes, that ends in a full-stop.
Blade Runner 1982 @ IMAX (1 Oct) – a friend of mine told me over the weekend she didn’t think Harrison Ford was attractive. I hid her body well.
Women Painting Big Things @ No Vacancy Gallery (29 Sept) – the easiest joke that can be made, shall be made: Well I know which of my exes won’t be here 
Fed Square Book Market @  Fed Sq (30 Sept) – for the love of NOT AFL
The Laughter Club @ Fed Sq (1 Oct) – Tiges supporters after party