3 – 5 August

Melbourne International Film Festival @ Melbs (3 – 20  August) – don’t get miffed if you’re not invited to the opening elbow rib elbow rib
The Australian National Brooch Show @ Fitzroy Library (3 Aug – 27 Sept) – the greatest show on earth.
Walhalla Vinter Ljusfest @ Walhalla (10-27 August) – Tom Cruise and the rest of the cast come to Australia’s smallest town to re-enact the table scene. Side note: is it wrong that I literally love every single movie Tom Cruise has ever been in? Even that crap one on the island with C.Diaz.
Unicorn Festival @ Melb Central (3 – 4 August) – unicorns are real. They are just fat, grey and called rhinos.
Annual Truffle Soiree @ Seafarers – you know it’s winter when truffles have a soiree
Koala Tree Planting @ You Yangs (6 Aug) – back when I was about 13, my sisters and cousins and I were walking along the tracks behind the back beaches in Sorrento, and our uncle was telling us about drop bears. I decided I would be ‘funny’ and scare everyone, so I threw a rock really hard into the shrubbery, but it bounced off the tree trunk and cracked my sister in the forehead. There was blood and I didn’t own up to it. Sorry Hannah.
There will be Blood @ MSO (5 Aug) – esp if I’m trying to be funny