Sprink’s favourite part about ISO life is called TROUBLE IN DREAMS which, loosely translated means: “fancy AS FERK home delivered cocktails”.
Which she didn’t know existed until she was Instastalking a girl she went to uni with (who changed her name: WHO CHANGES THEIR NAME?) and saw her seemingly at fancy cocktail bar but NAY it was just ‘Kate’ (aka Mary) at home. Having a drink. And giving a big shout out to TROUBLE IN DREAMS: a cocktail bar in Footscray that was meant to open the day we all went into COVID lockdown.. But they did a pivot and hello world, now we have home-delivered fresh, raise-that-little-finger cocktails.
Sprink ordered immediately without thinking twice (which she never does anyway, nbd guys).
That Saturday, a dapper ladies kind of gentleman (the best kind of the gents) with a clever beard who boasted the name ‘Chad’, came a knocking at Sprink’s dwelling. He was carrying a little brown box and presented it to her like a newborn. “Good day fair Sprink, I have your fresh cocktails, made this very morn” he said with eyes prouder than two apples in New York.
He began to tell Sprink about the kewlness of what he put in his cockdawgs, then opened the box to reveal two little brown bottles with hand-written labels (like you’d expect if Alice in Wonderland had babies with Charles Darwin while he was exploring the Amazon), fresh garnishes, an instruction sheet, and a small bag of ice: “incase you want them now”
He squizzelled on his heel and before mounting his gallant beast (Ford) to ride off into the orange sunset, he raised an arm and called out to-eth her ears: “The cocktails also come with a curated Spotify playlist. Dim the lights, press play and enjoy your fancy AF cockdawgs”. Then he was gone, as swiftly as he had cometh.
Because 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown as much as Sprink does, the MATHS GOES LIKE THIS:
2 x cocks + garnishes = 2 fancy liquids + ice + hand delivered / specially curated playlist = $50 = LEGIT HIGHLIGHT OF MY ISO
