‘Twas 7 degrees and the siren blared, signalling The Community Cup 2019 was over. The Megahertz had won by one point and the Rockdogs were happy because – as usual – we were better dressed and way better looking which, at the end of the day, is what matters. After smashing beers in the change room and having a shower with Weekend, Ross and Jakob *yus*, The Sprink crossed the road limping *torn calf muscle in 2nd quarter* to drop some stuff off at her house, only to discover her team were scattered at various venues around Collingwood for the after party. THIS WOULD NOT DO:
Kerrie’s house: Red Hot Chilli Peppers were playing through the speakers “Guys, why are you killing the vibe?” asked Sprink and Mikey threw her a negface so Sprink did the helicopter with her arm summoning Rockdogs Peres and Katie. “We are going to Lulie St Tavern” Sprink headed to the door. “Meet youse at Gaso” called Kerrie. “OK then”.
Lulie Bar: They walked into Lulie only to find 23 Megas drinking beers out of the trophy. After mounting Lauren The Gaybo Dinosaur they stood around listening to some BS disco cross EDM rubbish and were over it within 13minutes. Someone did the helicopter and three Rockdogs appeared from the shadows ready to go on tour. “The cheer-squad is at Fee Fee’s, then we go Gaso” declared Weekend. “OK then”
Fee Fees bar: “This is the coolest place ever” said Peres walking into the rock-n-roll 50’s bar, red fairy lights and jungle ivy hanging from the roof. After posing in her leopard onesie for photos as Rod Stewart blared from the speakers, Sprink spotted some cheerleaders. “The Tim fcking Rogers, Valders, Kez, Tommy… and erryone is at The Tote – we have to go there, then the Gaso.” said Anna. Someone did the helicopter. “OK then”
The Tote: “The Tim fcking Rogers was here 2 min ago” said Rockdog manager Johnny Rock “He is meeting us at Gaso”. This was a lie because Tim Rogers disappeared into the night, never to return. There may have been rock music happening in the background but you couldn’t hear it from the beer garden and Sprink cracked it: “Guys – everyone else is at the Gaso, you have 5min to finish beers”. They did and the Travelling Rockdog Afterparty continued down Wellington Street, 21 people strong. “Keats can I borrow your jacket?” asked Sprink. “OK then”
The Gaso: the gang walked into the Gaso to a chorus of cheers. The dance floors were packed thanks to Mikey Cahill and Callum Padgham who were DJing. People went to buy beers and cider *ew* and Sprink got kicked off a podium dancing to Cardi B, so moved rooms to find a proper stage and suddenly George initiated the SHIRTS OFF DANCE FLOOR. The entire team was there dancing with the Megaz AS ONE, ‘neath disco balls wiggling to Bizarre Love Triangle, Let’s Dance, but NOT Sean Paul *which was the only real issue of the night*. “I bloody love the Comm Cup” said Kram to Ash who agreed and then dropped to roll on the floor *a great dance move*. Fresh Violet did something but I can’t remember what, I’m sure it was kewl and suddenly it was 1am and the lights were on. “Old Bar” called out Jerry. “OK then”.
Old Bar: “Mark I can’t keep my eyes open” complained Sprink, so she went home. At 230am. How very un-rock’n’roll.