8 – 10 Dec

MSO Presents Star Wars: The Force Awakens @ Palais (7-10 Dec) – what do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Scream insults and abuse at the grass @ Botanical Gardens (6 Dec) – what do you call an obnoxious reindeer? RUDEolf.
Christmas Market @ Belgrave (10 Dec) – what do you call an Elf who sings? A wrapper.
African Music and Cultural Festival @ Fed Sq (9 Dec) – who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
Kylie on Stage @ Geelong (9 Dec – 4 Mar) – dat ass tho
Meredith Music Festival @ Mez (8-10) – my sister came home from this one year with a ranga. She couldn’t shake him. He is meow moving in. A good place for the singles.
A Plastic Ocean @ IMAX (10 Dec) – can we stop killing the EVERYTHING PLEASE?
Allen’s Lolly Pop-Up @ Melb Central (meow – 24 Dec) – Allen pops his lollies up for Xmas.
Make Grammar Great Again @ Good Copy (7 Dec) – get the book, and learn the things you are supposed to know at your age.
Christmas Projections @ CBD (5 – 24 Dec) – you WILL be merry, you WILL enjoy Christmas.