10 – 12 Nov

Crazy Coaster @ Adventure Park Geelong (11 Nov) – a sharknado style waterslide opens in Geetroit. Do a Genuwine and ride it.
The Elephant in The Room @ Preston (10 Nov) – British kween and artist Leona Gardner-Chan is raising the dollaz to help the elephants in the land of Thai. Or she is going to announce the biggest elephant in the room: aliens are God. IDK but probably the first one.
Jamaican Music and Food Festival @ Williamstown (12 Nov) – the biggest collection of ‘Wendy’ tattoos in Australia.
Country Daze @ Melb to Castlemaine (11 Nov) – these baes be running a bus from Brunswick to Castlemaine so Melbourne champs can dance, drink and then pash-on with fellow music fans in the back seat, on the way back. Is this the new Tinder?
Dogapalooza @ Burnley (12 Nov) – hairy beasts getting their drank on, wiggling their butts and sniffing.. sounds like a typical night out in Richmond actually.
Emerging Cultural Leaders @ FAC (from 9 Nov) – the kewlest people of the year
Chicken Nuggett Festival @ Thornbury (11 Nov) – why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.
Seance @ Fed Sq (ends 12 Nov) – would be a nice name for a girl. Is actually a gateway to the after life.
Polish Festival @ Fed Sq (12 Nov) – there is opportunity for a wonderful pole joke here. A big, strong, single, blonde but I’ll take a ranga too, pole joke.
Eye Gazing @ Edinburgh Gardens (12 Nov) – add an ‘r’ in there and it’s a zombie picnic.
Robyn Archer: What Remains? @ Arts Centre Melbourne (10 – 11 Nov) – I think bones? Zombies only eat flesh yeah?
The Composer is Dead @ Hamer Hall (11 Nov) – kids get involved in a murder mystery. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Peel Street Festival @ Collingwood (11 Nov) – Hannibal Lecter’s favourite street festival
Marriage Equality Rally @ State Library (15 Nov) – if it’s not YES I will watch Katie Perry’s ‘Swish’ video clip in protest. THAT IS HOW BAD HER CLIP IS and that is how horrendous this pleblishite is.
And..
Launch Party: The Hello Morning @ Abbortsford (11 Nov) – are having a laneway-launch party for their new single ‘Creases’. YOU CAN GO. Email The Sprink with HELLO! in the title and you +1 can get on the door this Saturday nite. First in gets the golden tix YAS oh and there will be an outdoor spa so pack the togs.