6 – 8 Oct

AFL Masters @ Geelong (1 – 7 Oct) – Note to self: employ straight man who can make jokes about AFL #kweenofthegays
Mountain Goat Brewery 20^th Bday @ MGB (6 Oct) – Note to self: employ straight man who can make jokes about beer #kweenofthevinos
Melbourne Festival @ Melb (4 – 22 Oct) – not normally do I comment on an event but some of the things in this program are off the dial. SPRINK= IN.
St Kilda Music Walking Tours @ St Kilda (7 Oct) – something something Tim Rogers
M.Pavillion @ QV Garden (2 Oct – 4 Feb) – Naomi Milgrom is straight up KWAIN
Experimenta Make Sense @ RMIT Gallery (2 October – 11 Nov) – also known as that phase you went through in first year uni.
Festival of Nonna @ Craft&Co (8 Oct) – celebrating the crochet blanket, hand bags with tissues in them, lippy and stockings no matter the season.
Survival Skills for Desperate Times @ Melb Festival (7 Oct) – Oh I definitely know this one.. A:  What is The Dirty Swan?
Shed Fest @ Yarra Valley (7 Oct) – SNS the nails, blow dry the hair, put on tight black pants and rabbit fur vest, drink sav blanc ‘ONLY SAV – omg never chardy’, reminisce about Grape Grazing ‘08, eat soft cheese, break phone screen, SHED FEST DID
Burger Making Masterclass @ Sth Wharf (7 Oct) – would prefer sausage making, not gonna lie.
Diwali Celebration @ QVM (7 Oct) – if you weren’t an extra in a Bollywood movie, are you even sure you went to India?
Around The Bay @ Melb (8 Oct) – why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own? Because its two-tired.
Pinot Palooza @ Melb (7 Oct) – Pi-YES