20 – 22 Oct

2017 Australian Motorcycle Grand Prix @ Phillip Island (20 – 22 October) – just try to stop me from going to this. Oh you win. I won’t.
Swiss Italian Fiesta @ Daylesford (18 – 22 Oct) –  hot angry women and hot angry men yell with their hands.
Amy Winehouse: A Family Portrait @ Jewish Museum (22 Oct – 25 Mar) – Amy and P!nk duet
Kyneton Music Festival @ Kyneton (20 – 21 Oct) – but will there be ferret racing?
Trees of Codes @ Arts Centre (meow – 21 Oct) – leaves and prose, dog with hose, stubbed lil toes, powder on nose. On not up.
She Makes Games @ Southbank (21 Oct) – yas kween yas she does #girlgeeks
Marysville Jazz and Blues Weekend @ Marysville (20 – 22 Oct) – Mary’s jazz hands gave everyone the blues that weekend. So she drowned herself. Hahahaha!
Darebin Music Feast @ Darebin (meow – 22 Oct) – overalls, short fringes and ugly mutts descend on this patch that used to be reserved for the lezbos who are off wearing overalls, short fringes and.. oh. Ok nothing, forget it.
Melbourne Dumpling Festival @ (20 Oct) – too much chilli and you may dumpring.
Yes Fest: Marriage Equality @ State Library (22 Oct) – think of the gay weddings you’ll be invited to and how fabulous they will be.
Reservoir Stomp @ Preston (22 Oct) – well I don’t know why I came here tonight.. I got a feeling that somethin ain’t right..
Blues Music Festival @ Docklands (22 Oct) – don’t end up like Mary.
Veg Out Open Day @ St Kilda (22 Oct) – better out than in.
Melbourne’s Annual Wedding Expo @ Showgrounds (22 Oct) – followed next week by Cold Feet Expo
The Queen Has Been Married for 70 Years @ Madame Brussels (22 Oct) – who wouldn’t want to be married to The QE2 or Prince Phillip. Those loved up baes can do no wrong.