Rugby Union Test: Wallabies V Fiji @ AAMI Park (10 June) – held in Jeopardy style, answers include: Told Taylor Swift ‘imma let you finish but’ and ‘The original meaning of covfefe’.
Chevrolet Brasil Global Tour: Brazil v Argentina @ MCG (9July) – why don’t soccer players eat Indian food? Because they can’t use their hands. SOMEONE FIRE ME PLEASE.
Woodend Winter Arts Festival @ Woodend (9 – 12 June) – where does the wood end? Literally I ask myself this too many times a week.
Heathcote On Show @ Heathcote (10 – 12 June) – it’s me your Cathy, I’ve come home. Let me in damn it.
Game of Rhones @ Meat Market (June 10) – those crazy Swordcraft people who do the medieval, rubber-sword fighting on Friday nights at Princes Park, get drunk on ale / meade / socialising.
Mind Body Spirit Festival @ REB (9 – 12 June) – and mushrooms. Right? Like.. Right though?
Gluten Free Festival @ Food Truck Park (9 June) – wheat a second, not gluten jokes? They’re not kneaded, I want naan of that thanks.
The Kiln @ Arts Centre (June – Aug) – something about Bendigo Pottery? I went there once, made a POT and they sent it back to me fully BAKED 5 days later. The whole cost was $25. LITerally.
Castlemaine Jazz Festival @ Castlemaine (9-11 June) – last time I went to Castlemaine I ended up dating a handsome Italian man. Go. It could happen to you too.
Melbourne’s Mystery Market @ Fed Sq (11 June) – the kids from Bedknobs and Broomsticks meet up with the Scooby gang and go shopping. Go. It could happen to you too.
Wine and Wildlife @ Healesville Sanctuary (11 – 12 June) – party like it’s literally Animal House.
Play School’s big jazz adventure @ Melb Town Hall (10 June) – Gemima gets lit with Big Ted. Humpty breaks in through the arch window. Hilarity ensues.
