21 – 23 April

Aladdin @ Her Maj (26 April – 4 June) – I can take a hint, gotta face the facts, I’m pretty damn happy this is on.
Gauchito Gil Malbec Day @ North Melb (23 Apr) – a few times I’ve been around that track, so it’s not just gonna happen like that cos I ain’t no Gauchito Gil gurlllll (and I didn’t cheat on you with the nanny)
Mokoan Music Festival @ Winton Wetlands (23 Apr) – sponsored by Moccona. Supported by Pocahontas.
International Paella Competition: Semi-Final @ QVM (23 April) – I won’t make jokes about the Spanish. No way, Jose.
The Colour Run @ Flemmo (22 Apr) – it’s that time of year again EYEROLL. Tinder profiles are updated just in time for the cooler aka desperado months.
Meatstock Melbourne @ Showgrounds (22-23 Apr) – speed dating with the single Masterchef contestants of the last 13years.
Vegan and Vegetarian Weekend @ Food Truck Park (21 Apr) – take a carnivore and then say GOTCHA
Easter Power Sports @ Mildura (22 – 24 April) – the Energiser bunny smashes a tinnie, bench presses a car and water skis over a house boat on his way to Stefano’s.
Geelong Half Marathon @ GTown (23 April) – if The Cats had have lost some games this year, I could have made a comparison here but, yeah. Nah.
WD-40 Phillip Island Supersprint Supercars Championship @ PI (21 – 23 April) – I definitely don’t have enough facial hair to go to this.