This is Andrea. Born to a bloodline of mongrels, she grew up in Perth, where her first memory was being 4yrs old, holding a jam sanga and jumping on the bed screaming “I love Rod Stewart, I love Rod Stewart”. She’s had the love of music running through her veins thanks to her fam and as a wee one watched her granny pop Nutbush by Ike and Tina on the turntable every Christmas Day and proceed to take her clothes off and dance. Unlike her gran, she was (and still is) a shy little butterfly, but she always wanted to rock out, so Andrea started her first band at the age of 19 – it was called ‘Franga’. Being all about the bass, she is well versed at sneaking into many a live (sold out) concert, by pretending she is on an important call and waggling her finger at the bouncer as she walks past looking imports and it has never failed her. For a buck, Andrea is a travel writer (a really good one) but when off on travel trips she has the habit of sneaking off during any downtime to check out the local vinyl record stores. The best ones in the world? Rooky Riccardos in San Fransisco (‘the owner, Dick, has the best taste’) and Euclid in New Orleans (loves anything related to Allen Toussaint, who was from there but I have zero clue who he is. He sounds like a pastry.). Despite being a Sydney-sider at present, where she DJs, she LOVES Melbs – particularly the music scene – and often comes down shop for records (the new Rocksteady Records in the city is her current fave) or to see DJ kween Miss Goldie who ‘has the best collection of soul and RnB in Australia’. Unsurprisingly she married a musician (but You don’t need I to tell you which band he’s Am) however she is adamant she loves him for who he is and she is NOT a dirty band aid. Tho she did once sneak onto the set of a Rolling Stones video clip and had a ciggie with Keith and then got a kiss from Ronnie. Which is the definition of a band aid on Wikipedia.
25-27 NOVEMBER
International Festival of Hockey @ Melb / Bendigo (23 – 30 Nov) – a big pucking deal.
Queenscliff Music Festival @ Queenscliff (25-27 Nov) – Oh KweensKliff it’s me your Kathy I’ve come hooome.
Siegfried @ Arts Centre (25 Nov-14 Dec) – for the longest time I thought this was about Sigmund Freud.. lolol my mistake
Gotterdammerung @ Arts Centre (28 Nov-16 Dec) – if you say it with a British accent it sounds like you’re saying: Got Her, Damn! He Rung.
Paradise Music Festival @ Lake Mountain(25-27 Nov) – while we’re on the British accent thing, this even could also be called the: Pair o Dice Music Festival #snakeeyes
World Cup of Golf @ Kingston Health Golf Club (24-27 Nov) – Oh Kingston it’s me your Sprinky I’ve come hoooome I’m so coooold what happened to the 38deg on Monday?
Shearwater Festival @ Phillip Island (25-27 Nov) – a mass head shave in the waters of Phillip Island. Clogged plumbing systems to follow.
Polo in the City @ Albert Park (26 Nov) – uh oh, the disease has reached the city. Hold up, I’m thinking of Polio. Continue.
RnB Friday Concert @ Hisense Arena (25 Nov) – the playlist goes like this: Beyonce, Beyonce, Kelly Rowland, Beyonce. MICHELLE IS NOT INVITED
Extinct: Lancefield Megafauna Festival @ Lancefield (25 – 26 Nov) – what we would be if it WAS polio instead of polo. The triffids would rule.
Day on the Green @ Rochford Wines (26 Nov) – Tash Sultana is playing. TASH SULTANA. SHE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING and has the kewlest hair.
Melbourne Singers of Gospel @ Fed Sq (26 Nov) – praise be to the high notes. All Mariah wannabes welcome.
UFC @ Rod Laver (27 Nov) – I went to this last year and not only will you find the most placid, well-mannered crowd (it felt like I was at a ball in the 1895) but for the first time in the history of toilet systems, you will see a line up for the mens toilets and NOT THE WOMENS.
Dance for the Animals @ Northcote (27 Nov) – imagine if you could dance for the animals, just imagine it, twirling with a chimp in Northcote Town Haaaaall
El Kid @ Arts Centre (22, 26 & 27 Nov) – Registered Music Therapists bring children who have development delays or disabilities together with their families to interact through music. Not a joke.
The Make It Market @ Welcome to Thornbury (27 Nov) – sponsored by beards. Speaking of, I saw my first ‘straight’ beard today. It wasn’t curly, it was straight. I honestly had no idea they existed.
Great Victorian Bike Ride @ Gramps – Great Ocean Road (26 Nov – 4 Dec) – the greatest week you’ll ever spend in Victoria. Aside from the Great Ocean Walk. My two favourite things to do in this state, aside from hanging with my cat.
Makers Market @ Heide (26 Nov) – hipsters make stuff out of stuff and sell it to other hipsters who boast about it being retro-cycled organically farmed blah blah no one is as good as me I’m a hipster etc etc also did you know Nicole Kidman named her Sunday Rose after one of the founding artists at Heide? Bet you didn’t.
Eat / Drink by The Sprink who WENT ON A DATE
I was well into my fifth bevvy at the Intrepid new office-warming party when my hotline bling. ‘Meet me for a drink tonight?’ said the unknown number ‘Sure’ said a dateless Sprink ‘Who is this?’ Two words. ‘The Matador’. An invitation no red-blooded woman could refuse.
#1 The Hotel Bar
We met at the bar of The Rialto Intercontinental Hotel (where Oprah stashed her friends that time she flew them all out to Australiaaaaaa). He was green eyed, dark and handsome if you’re into a young version of Robin Williams which I am. I had my guitar with me so naturally I began to play like a kween and ole Don Juan sang along, boosting my ego and his drink high into the air has he tra-la-la-ed in perfect harmony. There were applause from the two old ladies joyfully clapping along to our music-making, as requests to play again next week showered down upon us from the happy staff. A nice start to an unexpected date.
#2 The Best of the Best
The Matador and I headed up to Lui Bar at the top of the Rialto where The Sprink may or may not have lied to get us a seat at a window overlooking the lights of Melbourne and beyond, 55 levels from above. The view was spectacular, and I don’t just mean out the window. We talked about.. I dunno, stuff?.. I probably boasted a bit about Melbourne and told that story I always do about how back in the 1850’s people here were so rich from the gold rush that they used to get iceburgs from Alaska chopped up and put on a ship, sailed to Melbourne, put on a horse-and-cart and taken to Ballarat so people could have cold beers. Probably. Anyway I’m pretty povvo and I didn’t want to give this guy the wrong idea so I decided to take this accented man to a venue that would be the black to Shannon Bennett’s white.
#3 The Humble Trooper
Nestled in an alley between two shops on Little Collins is Chuckle Park. We walked up to the caravan-bar and ordered a cuppla $5 tinnies then sat under the candles and jars strung above us, digging our shoes shyly into the fake grass (or concrete, tbh I wasn’t really paying attention to the decor, he had green eyes and an accent) and spoke softly and meaningfully of things that matter deeply at 1130 on a Friday night. The Sprink got cold so decided somewhere close, small and warm would be the next choice.
#4 The Classic Melbourne
In an alley up a laneway off a laneway lies Bar Americano – a speakeasy-style bar that is only licensed to fit 15people. We entered the venue like two lost cats in a storm. Perching ourselves up the back of this very tiny space seemed like a good idea – it was dark and we could stand close to each other and pretend we didn’t realise we were touching hands. Then we ordered and pretended we didn’t know we were suddenly holding hands. Then reality slipped back into the Matrix and everything around us disappeared. You know when you have INSANE chemistry with someone? Well this was that. And the next thing you know, The Sprink and The Matador were locked in a weird face-smooch that wasn’t really a smooch, it was more of a strange kind of body hug with a cheek squash, breathing each other and slight hair touching. You can’t explain science guys, chemistry is science is FACT. Nek minnit – and I mean minnit because it was actually less than that – we were asked to leave for being too ‘intense’. We got kicked out for intensely sniffing each other.
The Sprinkboard
A place for fellow Sprinks to send messages to each other, sell old cat fur or just leave kewl thoughts. Email your Sprink to: info@thesprinkler.com.au
Ulli, 42, German – ”There is a really nice studio for hire in Fitzroy. Be kewl and come work near me – I promise I won’t make you go hiking every weekend: http://midnightsky.com.au/goodpersquare/ ”
Corbs, 35, ginger – ”Congratulations on buying your first house in #Brunswick, Natalie. Buy another one, I’d like some more champagne.”