This is Tam. She is 26, is a vegetarian, loves her cat Steve and is obsessed with North Korea. While she looks sweet, shy and gentle she is actually a super forward, confident, hard-ass. After finishing an Arts degree and wondering why the hell she just wasted three years of her life, she got a job offer as the speechwriter for the Israeli ambassador. So at 22, she packed her life into her Mazda 2 and moved to The Can where the first speech she had to write was a 20minute prezzo to the boss of this sunburnt country, about ole mate Mazel Tov announcing he was leaving. After 18months of Can-life, she became the media spokesperson for a huge national organisation and then decided she wanted a career change at 23 (lol I was working at General Pants). She moved overseas to become a journalist where one of her first gigs was to interview Mariah Carey who ‘physically frightened me to almost the point of rigidity. She was absolutely terrifying and screamed abuse at multiple journalists, including one for taking a photo from a bad angle. James Packer was standing against the wall the whole time watching with lovey eyes’. You can read that article here. Tam is now serving time as a Victorian government speechwriter and is planning on writing a book about her nomadic uncle who lived out of his ute for 25yrs following the mining boom, and lost all his teeth from smoking and drinking too much. Oh and she also won WIN A DATE WITH G competition from last weeks auction – but that doesn’t define her – details of which you can read about in the next Sprink.
28 Oct – 1 November AAMI Victoria Derby Day @ Flemmo (29 Oct) – lucky you’re with her, amirite? Fast 5 Netball World Series @ Hisense Arena (29-30 Oct) – netball is hard enough to keep up with normally, let alone faster. Darebin Music Feast @ Darebin (27 Oct-6 Nov) – a festival put on for all the unused DARE’s from Truth or Dare games. There will be lots of smooches. Seriously Shiraz @ Grampians (28 Oct to 1 Nov) – take this SERIOUSLY. Toast to the Coast @ Geelong (29-30 Oct) – alternative names include Bread at the Beach, Surfing with Sourdough, Bondi Rye-fe Guards (that last one is for if this event goes interstate) Maldon Folk Festival @ Maldon (28-31 Oct) – ‘Folk’ like music, or like a bunch of people? From Here to Maternity @ Chaps off Chap (26-30 Oct) – be spewed on, never sleep and feel estranged from your friends. Then go to AA? Oh and get divorced right mum and dad? Godspell Reimagined @ Arts Centre (25 Oct – 6 Nov) – Rob Mills stars at a loveable God who smites those who don’t attend his shows. Gulp. Spies Scandals and Spirits of Duneira @ Mount Macedon (29 Oct only) – the entire cast of Spy Kids re-unite as adults to discuss what they’ve been up to lately (spoiler: not much) The Lost Lands Festival @ Werribee Mansion (28 Oct-31 Nov) – a whole bunch of dinosaurs look for a new place to live. On an island off Hawaii. With Matthew Fox. THEY WERE IN PURGATORY. Brewers Fest @ Abbotsford Convent (28 – 29 Oct) – a bunch of brown monk robes get drunk on the lords brew. Robin Hood and his merry lads pop in for some honey treacle, Marian and her squad get lit and Friar Tuck drops mad beats on the flute he whittled three Christmastides ago. Little John gets into fisticuffs with a donkey and someone gets pregnant out of wedlock. The classic tale. Portland Upwelling Festival @ Portland (29 Oct) – just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Secret Dinner Party @ Ides then somewhere shhh (30 Oct) – Melbourne hearts secret events, hey? The Village Festival @ Edinburgh Gardens (28 -30 Oct) – many, many carni folk about. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husbands and yo wallets. Jam on the Groove @ Cherry Bar (30 Oct) – groove is in the jaaaaaam yeah. Groove is in the jaaaam YEAH. Well that didn’t work. It could have been so Dee-liteful. House of Lucas @ Ballarat’s Gold Museum (28 Oct – 26 Mar 2017) – how sweet of Lucas to open up his home to us. Melbourne Zombie Walk @ Melbs (29 Oct) – Zombies walking to raise dollaz for the Brain Foundation. You can’t make this stuff up.
Eat / Drink by the Sprink
Trivia Night on a Tuesday at Colonel Tans @ Revolver – I drank champagne at Revolver. And remembered it. Bet that’s a sentence you never thought you’d hear (or read lol). Let me paint the scene: no entry fee or line up, a verticle staircase and posters of bazillions of bands I will never see let alone remember, that all lead to a room with the coolest decor ever. I have been to Revs many times before in my life but this was the most sober I have ever been and I was pleasantly surprised to find that this room I have slept in multiple times before, was actually really cool. Comfy old couches, graffiti and paste-ups around the walls and multiple lamp shades hanging from the roof. And most surprisingly – did you know there’s a restaurant area at Revs??? It’s more than just a sticky D-floor and a powder room… Sorry, bathroom. But despite how good the food was (think Cookie cuisine combined with um, Cookie cuisine) I’m reviewing the trivia. The trivia was 100% ACE and hella HELLA up to date. There was literally a question about something that happened THAT MORNING so if you don’t have the kween of social media on your team then RIP in peace, cos y’all need know yaw Pop Culture current affairs. There were lots of song references from the 90’s AKA The Golden Years, there was a dance-off, good, quick fun games and of course everyone ended up piled into the bathroom (because it’s Revs). As in, you had to submit your final answer in the bathroom.. Ironic that the climax of the night literally happened in the bathroom and I guarantee that I’m not the first person to say that about a Revolver toilet, but I am the first person to say that chlamydia free. The two entertaining hosts were really friendly, engaging, quick witted and bounced off each other really well – one Spidermaned his way up onto the roof to ask one of the questions (that’s not even a joke. He went up the wall and was hanging off the ceiling). Also they seemed to know everyone in the teams which is a bloody good sign of bloody good trivia. Lots of repeat offenders and hosts who engage with their crowd. I’ve been to many a trivia night around Melbs and can safely say this is my favourite. This triv is on erry Tuesday, and I HIGHLY (ha) recommend it.