Date #2 with a scruffy-haired Melbourne ‘comedian’ who was explicit that dinner was ‘on him’ bc Sprink had shouted Date #1.
We met at suggested venue which turned out to be a uni bar selling 2-4-1 jager bombs. Sprink was dazed and confused ‘Aren’t we having dinner?’
‘Comedian’ pointed at a $13 all you can eat Indian place opposite. Sprink laughed at ‘joke’ and walked into neighbouring Japanese restaurant. ‘Comedian’ requested ordering for us both ‘My shout so my selection’ #control.
‘Comedian’ spent an hour talking about documentary he was making, topic: himself. ‘It’s 14hrs long. I am cutting it down to 5hrs. Going to submit it to Cannes Film Fest’. Highlight scene: crying in his parent’s living room.
The bill arrived and ‘Comedian’ claimed to forget his PIN.
‘Lets go to the jager place now.’ he said
Sprink: I thought you were joking about that place?
‘Comedian’: You are lucky I took you out, normally women do everything they can to impress me. I never have to try. Chicks are falling over me’.
Sprink hailed a taxi. ‘Comedian’ suggested his place. Sprink declined.
‘Comedian’ kissed his fingers, put them to the taxi window, popped his collar, then, while holding eye contact with Sprink, walked backwards down an alley *like that GIF of Homer into the bush* until he disappeared into the night never to be seen again, thank the lord
So if anyone wants to set me up I’d appreciate getting off Tinder thank you.
