Grants Picnic Reserve @ Sherbrooke Forest – In the middle of a rainforest just 45min drive from Smellbourne is the most tranquil and terrifying place in Australia. A peaceful oasis and a human hell in one, where the hierarchical order of man and beast ceases to exist. Beneath a stunning forest canopy of ancient trees, magical ferns and soft green moss, lays a 7 x 7m Gladiator-style arena, of concrete and hard metal barriers – a place that pits us against them.
I am a huge fan of a big cocky – black or white – so when five giant sky-gods flew towards me I did not flinch, but opened my arms lovingly holding aloft a small bowl of seed for them to dine upon. An offering that would encourage us to see through our exteriors and appreciate the spirits within us, knowing that we were team mates all fighting this mortal battle together *until we go up to the alien spaceship above and get recycled again*.
What a fool I was.
Like carnivorous angels from Greek mythology, they attacked. I hadn’t even entered the arena properly when two were head first in the bowl, two were clawing at my back and nipping at my legs and a giant, dragon-sized one was using my head to sharpen its beak. They bit my fingers, scratched the exposed skin off my body, head butted me and one tried to take a chunk of my eyebrow. They drew blood. The battle was short lived, the victors clear.
I retreated whimpering clutching my wounds and searching for an ice pack.
Do I recommend it? Hell yes. The adrenaline from having survived an attack of Winged Zombies of the Sky is still pumping through my veins, four days later.
It’s like a drug – go get yourself hooked.
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