Winter Wine Weekend @ Mornington (11-13 June) – the sound of winter 2K16 is of tumblers clinkin’, Beamers startin’ and collars poppin’.
Woodend Winter Arts Festival @ Macedon Ranges (10-13 June) – wine that tastes woody even to the end.
Winter Jazz Festival @ Mornington (10-12 June) – an event that sees spirit fingers bound by the formidable forces of gloves.
Weekend Fit for a King @ (11-12 June) – it really does depend which fit king you are referring to.
Rutherglen Winery Walkabout @ Rutherglen (11-12 June) – people drinking wine and wandering around with a guy called Glen.
Heathcote on Show @ Heathcote (11-13 June) – everyone is coming to look at Heath’s coat.
Wine & Wildlife @ Healesville Sanctuary (11-13 June) – Australia’s native wildlife get drunk on local wines. So, just a normal day in the Yarra Valley.
Comi-Con @ MCEC (11-12 June) – Xena: Warrior Princess will be here and my heart just skipped a beat.
National Celtic Festival @ Port Arlington (10-13 June) – fiddle dee dee workshops, a band that plays Bush Gothic and performers with unpronounceable names including Co-cheol, Cuchulainn, Claddagh and Piobaireachd.
Asian Street Food Weekend @ Preston Food Truck Park (10-13 June) – ALL OF THE DUMPLINGS.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles High Tea @ Langham (27 June – 14 July) – shell-ebrate a TV show you haven’t seen since you last wore a scrunchy.
Melbourne Cabaret Festival @ various venues in Prahran (14-26 June) – as Liza said, ‘life is a cabernet from the Heathcote region, old chum’.
Greg Semu-Raft of the Tagata Pasifika @ NGV (10 June-11 Sept) – my dad’s name is Greg. Sorry, that’s all I got.
Jeppe Hein: Semicircular Space @ NGV (11 June- 16 September) – a sculpture that sees me surrounded by mirrors. Just me, because yes I’m that person in the change rooms who doesn’t share mirror space and IDC.
Riverside Jazz Club @ Arts Centre (9-12 June) – get jazzy by the Yazzy.
Eat / Drink by The Sprink
Operator 25 @ 25 Wills St, CBD – ah yes hello, Operator? Put me through to that funky inner city cafe with those exposed brick walls, purrty white subway tiles, and that ever changing menu, ploise. If you’re looking for a regular smashed avo pre-werk, you better keep on walkin’ because this place ain’t got time for the ordinary. Do yaself a favour and try the sweet potato and corn fritters because they’re made of sweet potato AND corn and they are fritters. And they are really good. Or – because there’s no menu times – if you feel like duck (I said duck) for breakfast, then go for gold, you adventurous hero. Flavour combos are on point, and the beautiful baristas know how to werk their magic over a bitta Code Black cawffee. Although its on the cusp of the yawny edge of the city (srsly Flagstaff what is up?) this place is anythang but boring.