28 FEB – 1 MAR

Hear My Eyes Suspiria @ Arts Centre – omfg YES BINCH one of the best horror films ever made is live and multi sensory and if someone wants a Sprink as a plus one I KNOW A SPRINK
Melbourne Cocktail Festival @ Melb – a drinking party for those who love roosters with great bottom feathers.
Prosecco Festival @ Northcote – south of the river come north and for once, don’t wear active wear.
Beer Festival @ St Kilda – ah ok so we are alcoholics this weekend, got it.
Melb Floating Regatta @ Foot-us-kreh – 1700s: the clear waters of the Yarra, home to eels, dolphins, turtles and cute fish. 2000s: the brown waters of the Yarra, home to hipsters and suburban bogans on plastic floaties smashin tinnies. This Brave New World.
Pride Phone Booth @ Melb Central – send messages of love to Mardi Gras-ers.
Sydney Road Street Party @ Brunners – a vegan pissup on the tram tracks
Lonsdale St Greek Festival @ CBD – a souva party on the road
Color Festival @ Hoppers – another colour festival, another wave of dating app profile updates.
Glenferrie Festival @ Hawthorn – Witchery outfits in the hundreds.
Better off Said @ Collingwood – local celebs read Living Eulogies and guys, honestly my funeral will be sick – mum singing “Pony” a cappella as my taxidermy, draped in ivy, is rolled down the aisle in a glass box full of butterflies and bull-ants… put in diary, you won’t want to miss it.
Otway Explorer @ Melb – take a steam train to the GOR’s rainforest… tbh it actually sounds kwite kewl.
Dragon Ladies Don’t Weep @ Arts Centre –  original music written for a toy piano OMFG why has no one ever done this before