18 – 20 May

Ballet Revolucion @ Arts Centre (17 – 10 May) – ‘How to get fired’ proudly brought to you by the letter ‘c’
Illumin8 @ Bendigo (18 – 10 May) – the illuminati run Bendigo festivals and the world #neverforget
Melbourne Spoken Word Fest @ Melb (17 May – 3 June) – cos the other 50weeks a year, you’re literally spitting gibberish
Smashed Avo: Music and Avocado Fest @ Docklands (19 May) – will not make a joke about house affordability because all I’ve done the last two weeks is listen to Don’s song.
9 Dimes @ Arts Centre (18-19 May) – BYO joke, Sprinkees.
Buddha’s Day & Multicultural Festival @ Fed Sq (19 May) – another multicltural fest, but with extra chill
Stonnington Jazz Festival @ Stonno mate (10 – 20 May) – get high and dance
The Art of Juddy Roller @ LCI Melb (18 May) – from a lil arty warehouse to the biggest outdoor gallery in the country (Silo Art Trails) the Juddy gang celebrate. And give you free cheese.
Discover the Night Sky @ Museum (meow – 31 May) – sponsored by Mars Bars.
Fish Creek Tea Cosy Festival @ Fish Creek (19-27 May) – the kewlest festival in Victoria, obviously