Frank – The Dentist. Tooth trends.

Posted: December 2, 2019 by The Sprink

This is Frank. Born in Iran, his baby years were spent vomiting and… IDK doing stuff babies do… until one afternoon when the Islamic police showed up to say the family were going to be arrested for basically not being Muslim. His parents and gramps quickly packed their stuff that evening and headed for Pakistan that night, leaving everything. Almost dying on the way, little Frank was 3yrs old when he landed with a humanitarian visa in Perth in 1990.

So why should kids watch TV?
I wasn’t allowed to watch TV as a kid, and no one in my family could speak English so when I rolled up to school I couldn’t understand sh*t. They put me in the ESL class held in the hallway with a kid from Korea, PNG and a kid with down syndrome. I got good at English really fast to get out of that sh*tty hallway.

I lit don’t know a thing about Perth gimme some good ones:

  • Xmas day you can’t get a park near a beach because everyone comes down with their families and eskies full of prawns to spend the day there
  • Perth has the best beaches than any other city in Aus. This is a FACT reported by Frank, The Dentist.
  • Bali is 3hrs away and half the price of flying to the East. Possibly why there are so many bogans in Bali.

Yeah nah still not going. Why do you have a death wish?
Dunno, near-deaths happen regularly. 

  • 3yrs, I got dysentery while escaping Iran and arrived at a Pakistan hospital in a nappy and blankets of blood, a few hours from death. 
  • 14yrs my appendix grew 20cm. If it had burst I wouldda been cactus. They kept it to study bc it was so big. I saw it in a jar, it looked like a skinny poo.
  • 19yrs, my mate got road rage one night on a highway when a bogan cut us off in his hotted up Torana. We fanged after him, skidded on wet road, hit the curb, flipped the barrier and rolled twice into oncoming traffic. Everyone else was fcked: bones of skulls, hands and legs exposed. I got a graze on my knee and needed new jeans.
  • 25yrs, I had testicular cancer that spread to my liver and kidney. I don’t want to scare anyone but chemo is ten times harder than anything else, like ever.  Everything you eat tastes like metal and you want to vomit the entire time. Your skin feels like leather. Every normal thing about you is wrong.

For your career choice you’re also playing with death – don’t dentists have the highest suicide rate?
Dentistry is kewl. I love working with my hands. It is artistic, scientific, and social.

Bruh you coulda done ANYTHING with 99TER.
I did Law for a year because I was obsessed with Wall Street and wanted to be Gordon Gekko. But after a month realised I hated it. I got HD’s across the board and when I transferred to dentistry, the dean of law called me, kinda begging that I wouldn’t leave.

I wanted to be Miss Hannigan from Annie I GET YOU . But Frank my man, STRAIGHT UP: fluoride in the water YAY OR NAY
Yay. Australia proved it is good in the 70s when every capital city except Brisbane put it in the water. Those in Vegas had teeth that decayed 4.5 times faster than everywhere else in Aus. Fluoride is the shizz binches.

Teeth stories GIVE THEM
People think teeth are just rocks in your mouth but they’re part of your growing body. Also ppl are weird:

  • I had a lady who used to come in and lick my fingers when I worked on her teeth.
  • a bloke with a bung front tooth and asked me to pull it out. I offered him treatment but he didn’t want to pay $5k or want a fake one. A few months later he called me up furious that it hadn’t grown back. I had to explain that we aren’t sharks and only have one set of adult teeth. He straight up didn’t believe me.
  • Fear isn’t real, people just need mind distractions. 90% of patients stopped freaking out about me working on their teeth when I put a TV on the roof. 


  • Veneers: 1) big teeth are still IN farshun so ask me to elongate/broaden their pegs &; 2) people over-bleach their teeth so need replacements.
  • Botox: 1) seeing too much gum in smiles is OUT so ppl get botox on their cheeks to relax their grins &; 2) ppl also get it to reduce grinding.
  • Gold capped teeth: 1) tattoos being popular have made it a thing and I do heaps more than most because my surgery is in Collinghood & 2) anyone thinking about getting implants: diamonds aren’t very secure so if you want them, its best to set in a gold grill.

Sneaky dentist tips COME AT ME

  1. Always use a really soft toothbrush. We live longer and you can see bristle damage over many years
  2. Floss every day – 90% of fillings is a result of people not flossing.
  3. Don’t use natural organic toothpaste as they don’t have the science behind the formula like Colgate or Oral B do, so aren’t effective to your teeth – instead use a kid’s toothpaste if you don’t want the strong taste
  4. Use a bamboo toothbrush instead of plastic one: Colgate do a good one
  5. Electric toothbrush – get a Phillips their system of cleaning is way better than Oral B
  6. Oral B do the best toothpaste


Stanley Street Dental

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