Stakes Day @ Flemmo – burning people at the stake at this charming annual event
Melbourne Cup @ Flemmo – to be followed by a summary much like last year’s How To Rock The Sht Outta Oaks Day write up
Afrobeats Cup Vibes @ Moja – “ladies free all night” um WTF kind of event is this #afrobeats
Hitch to the Sticks @ Victoria – the 3 day music festival on a bus which is easily the kewlest event in Aus. Also pls look at this line up it is a 11/10
Neighbourhood Funk @ The Third Day – dance battles in a street-art filled warehouse feat. food trucks* and #afrobeats ok if I must
Sunday Jam Melbourne @ Penny Black – eat it any day of the week #afrobeats
Korean Festival @ Fed Sq – make Arrested Development joke here, something about ‘hello’
Toast To The Coast @ Geelong – it’s the journey not the destination. lol.
Soul Food @ NGV – saxophones are blown by your favourite dish.
Land of Plenty @ Sheppo – land a plenty, with fruit for Henty.
The Lost Lands Festival @ Werribee – which is exactly what they’ll say when you lose your mate here: Werribee…
Hop Fest @ Healesville Sanctuary – hipsters triple layer their socks to go to the Yarra Valley and talk about craft beer man, craft beer yeah? Is there anything better than craft beer? Heylet’s go slacklining
Vegan Market Melbourne @ Abbotsford – in all seriousness, vegans are either SUPER hot or SUPER not. There’s no in between vegans.
Party Animals @ Collingwood Farm – how good were the Baby Animals
Maldon Folk Festival @ take a guess – truly thought this was a fork festival
*5 weeks until Sounds of Africa – I’m doing a COUNTDOWN and you’re coming*