Me and ole mate Maddawg Callum Padgham (aka the American Tourrorist and host of Revolver’s speed-dating night, if you are interested) were walkin the backstreets, post our swim sesh at the Fitzroy Pewls when BAM hello newest venue…
Not even a week old, Chotto Motto is Collinghood’s newest bae on the block : a dog-friendly, Japanese themed gyoza craft beer and soft serve bar that is opposite live-music venue The Gem, and thankfully replaces the shittiest cafe Collingwood ever knew (I forget it’s name but every single thing about it was lit shit). Chotto chooses the path less-travelled by being decidedly not shit, and delivering us the best chilled but fun date venue this side of Victoria Street (are you understanding how big a call this is?).
Line up to order under a giant koy fish beside the alcohol vending machine and next to the little pokie machine and the rack of clothes for sale by the wall; take a seat in the window by a giant Pocky box and 80’s TV playing old Japanese computer games; sit in the room covered in pink cartoons or head outside to the turf-covered tin-fenced courtyard and eat by the fire pit and basketball ring. Or take the street seating to watch people at The Gem smoke like it’s still a thing people do.
Covered in street art mayte because 2019, everything inside that hangs from the roof, sits on the floor or perches on a perches is some kinda rando succulent, dinosaur or Japanese thing and you need to have ADHD to fully appreciate how ep-dawg. Anyway, the food came out (gyoza in a circle – you know what I mean, yeah?) which Cal and I paired with a can of passionfruit fizzy stuff, but passed on the Apple Pie Gyoza because WE DIDN’T FARKING SEE IT ON THE MENU nor did we see the soft serve on offer that day because we kept looking at all the random shit around us: ‘Should we move to Japan?’ to which the answer was: no let’s do this Japanese road trip it sounds nek lev. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT ADHD?
Cal then confided in me he had started to smoke the leftover pouch he found at a festival a few weeks ago and as we left he rolled a dirty duzza and I was bitterly disgusted.
Despite Cal putting a filthy end to the evening, I would still go back to Chotto Motto because guys.. it was really fucking good.