June – August

Posted: June 15, 2016 by The Sprink

Here’s the deal, gang. The Sprinkler is going into hibernation, because like Brittany Murphy it is pretty, but hella cold. But none-the-less here is what to do, who to do, and where to do it across all of y’all winters.

We’ll be back, and better than evahhh on August 17. love us.


This weekend in Melbourne

Winter Solstice Celebration @ Welcome to Thornbury (20 June only) – ancient Paganism is so hot right now.
Game of Rhones @ Meat Market (18 June) – I refuse to make a joke about this. I think I am the only person on earth who doesn’t watch GOT.
The Big Otway Tree Plant 2016 @ Cape Otway (18-19 June) – boost your ego. Plant a tree, create a rainforest, feel like a god.
Del Kathryn Barton: The Nightingale And The Rose @ ACMI (21 June-18 Sept) – an Archibald Prizewinner and film-maker interpret an Oscar Wilde classic I have never read.
Sticks Stones Broken Bones @ Arts Centre (18-19 June) – a shadow puppet ninja show thing.
Truffles A La Ferme @ Wongarra Farm – tis the weekend of the black diamond of fine dining.
Truffle Festival @ Prahran Market (18 June only) – starring Sesame Street’s Mr Truffleupagus.
Skylight @ MTC (18 June – 23 July) – the 90’s called, and it wants it’s ceiling fixtures back.
Emerging Writers Festival @ Melb (14 June -24 July) – scared and timid pen owners emerge from under their beds. Literary.
Always Been Here @  Metro Gallery (16 – 30 June) – one of our best street artists shows off why he is one of our best street artists.
Qantas Wallabies Vs England @ AAMI (18 June) – blokes vs lads.
Death Suits You @ Arts Centre (17 – 19 June) – well yeah, we are Melbourne. Black is our thang.


Eat / Drink by The Sprink

SOS Cafe @ 5/177 Toorak Rd, South Yarra – Seriously Oncredible (go with me) Sustenance. That is what SOS stands for. If you and your #CleanEating pals from pilates are looking for somewhere to have some brunch in your bling then look no further. This place is pretty much the be all and end all of healthy eating. No longer do you have to trek all the way to Camberwell, instead you can remain close to the south of the Yarra and watch ladies in fur coats carry fur babies around in Gucci handbags. They use Prince Ali coffee, wait that’s Aladdin, sorry, St Ali coffee. There is also a smoothie range which will literally save your soul, and obviously you’re going to go for the green smoothie because you didn’t put on your finest active wear to NOT look healthy. For a nom recommendation, get the Hipster Jar full of layers of fresh organic organics, then shake what cha Mama gave you and devour. Or for something warm, have the baked eggs and try to hold those groans in because dammit you’re in public. Fab. See you thurr.


Next weekend in Melbourne

Romeo and Juliet  @ Arts Centre (30 June – 9 July)  – Leo and Claire get in tu-tu’s and dance to that awesome Garbage song
Nederlands Dans Theater @ Arts Centre (22 – 25 June) – the worlds most magnificent dancers, renowned for their versatility, technical precision and virtuosic expression. They sound like cars.
Winter Wonderland: Sovereign Hill @ Ballarat (25 June – 24 July) – celebrating gold, GOLD. I mean Christmas in July.
Degas: A New Vision @ NGV (24 June – 18 Sept) – tu-tu’s on canvas.. but not starring Leo or Claire
Hothouse 2016: Virtual Reality @ ACMI (27 June -1 Jul) – virtual reality but IRL. So like, reality.
Snail and the Whale @ Arts Centre (29 June-10 July) – wail a tale about a snail and whale.
Melbourne Cup on Wheels @ DISC Velodrome ( 25 June only) – am looking forward to Fashions on the Field of Lycra. Wow that was just terrible.
Trop Jr Film Making Workshop @ Arts Centre (27 June – 27 Sept) – cinofile parents force their kids to LIKE ART HOUSE MOVIES – BE CULTURED, JUNIOR
Time of Your Life @ Arts Centre (28 June & 20 September) – Patrick and Jennifer do that lift. Nah I’m lying, he died and she got a nose job. This is a kids event. But kids need to know about death and plastic surgery too, you guys. Both are important.
Siblings in Sync @ Arts Centre (28 & 30 June) – kids with a disability and their siblings make creative music together. That will be cute AF.
Instant Rockstar @ Arts Centre (monthly until December) – kids are permitted to be really loud and annoying in this music video workshop.
Rogue Romantic @ Space Arts Centre, Prahran (23-25 June) – featuring Nat Bass because you are my voodoo child, my voodoo child.
Friday Nights at NGV @ NGV (24 June-16 Sept) – like Night at the Museum, only if Ben Stiller could drop a sick beat.
Imagined Worlds @ The Town Hall Gallery (25 June – 21 August) – imagine all the people, living life in peace. It is a little hard to this week.
Preston Block Party @ Food Truck Park (17-19 June) – Courtney Barnett eats American food and listens to hip hop.


All da weekends in July

Come Away with Me to the End of the World @ Malthouse Theatre – Nora Jones trying to entice you to commit suicide. NOT FALLING FOR IT NORA
The Simon & Garfunkel Story @ Hamer Hall (7 July only) – just these two on stage trying to work out for 2 hours if they want to go to Scarborough Fair.
Dig @ Arts Centre (5-9 July) – kids do a Robbie Williams. Can they dig it? YES THEY CAN.
Winter Shiraz Weekend @ Geelong/Bellarine wine regions (2-3 July) – another whine festival.
Now Hear This – A Live Sound Effects Workshop @ Arts Centre (1 July & 23 Sept) – I have always wanted to throw an event that has people sitting in the dark listening to 1940’s sci-fi radio plays. If you are feeling me, you should check out Spotify’s playlist X Minus One. I’m obsessed.
The Magic Workshop @ Arts Centre (6 & 8 July) – Daniel Radcliffe’s new gig.
Little Big Shots @ ACMI (1-10 July) – so, it is about dinner for uni students?
Gaijin @ Brunswick Mechanics Institute (6-16 July). – a thrilling tale of sacrifice. What Japanese performance DOESN’T end in sacrifice?
Melbourne’s Best Food Trucks @ Essendon Fields (6 July & 3 August) – Meals on Wheels.
Gertrude Street Projection Festival @ Gertrude Street (15-24 July) – don’t be rude, Gert.
Cirque De La Symphonie @ Hamer Hall  (15-16 July) – French circus freaks throw croissants at each other in time to Mozart’s 8th.
The Most Wuthering Heights Day Ever @ Fitzroy Gardens (16 Jul only) – my favourite song, re-performed by hundreds of legends in red dresses.
Mildura Writers Festival @ Mildura (14-17 July) – was going to be a poetry festival, but NOTHING rhymes with orange.
Three Acts, Two Dancers, One Radio Host  @ Arts Centre (14-15 July) – dancers perform to This American Life’s host who repeats his favourite phrase ‘Stay with us’ for two hours, with a blocked nose.
Australian Sheep and Wool Show @ Bendigo Showgrounds (15-17 July) – fans of fashion, food and fibre wool will love this ewe-nique show. FYI – there is a pig jumping competition.
Basil Sellers Art Prize Exhibition @ Ian Potter  (19 July-6 Nov) – art expose based on all forms of sport and sporting culture in Australia. Could only be more Melbourne if it slow-dripped coffee.
Echuca Winter Blues Festival @ Echuca (28 – 31 July) – winter giving whole towns the blues nowadays.
Melbourne International Film Festival @ multiple venues (28 Jul-14 Jul) – I met a guy a few years ago who would take two weeks of every year to attend every screening of MIFF.
International Champions Cup Australia, presented by Audi @ MCG (23-29 July) – because football. Or soccer. Or is this cricket? IDK
2016 Women’s Ski Week @ Mount Hotham (25-29 July) – ladies keepin’ it kewl as always.
Making the Australian Quilt: 1800-1950 @ NGV (22 July-6 Nov) – Australian threads weave a story like no other.
Painting. More Painting @ ACCA (29 Jul-25 Sept) – ART.
Edward II @ Malthouse (29 July – 21 Aug) – the prequel to Edward The Minute.
Pete the Sheep @ Arts Centre (30-31 Jul) – my uncle is named Pete. He also owns sheep. This will no doubt be amazing.
An Evening of Sit Down with Billy Crystal hosted by Andrew Denton @ Arts Centre Melbourne (1-2 August) – Billy overacts being himself and Andrew acts polite about it.

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