this weekend in melbourne
Art in da house
Swan Lake @ Arts Centre (7-18 June) – Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis glare at each other onstage then dance some.
Eyes on the Environment Art of the Pacific @ NGV (5 June only) – keep an eye on all the things the pollies turn a blind eye to #Election2k16
Unplugged Live 2016 @ NGV (5-10 June) – remember those Unplugged albums in the 90’s you could get at the $2 shop?! This is not them.
Jurassic Nights in June @ Melbourne Museum (3 – 24 June) – dinosaurs staying warm by dancing to DJ’s and drinking the dranks.
Melbourne International Jazz Festival (3-12 June) – goggles and safety glasses have sold out. Jazz hands week is the most dangerous time of year for eyeballs.
Scorsese @ ACMI (26 May – 18 Sep) – yes mate, he’s actually still talkin to you.
Denise Scott – Influence of My Mother @ NGV (4 June only) – blaming her mother for all the good and the bad. Join the queue Denise.
Om and the nom
Vegetarian and Vegan Food Truck Event @ Preston Food Truck Park (3-4 June) – how can you tell if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
Melbourne Chilli Festival @ Hobba Prahran (4 June) – become a Spice Girl for the day. Wait is chilli even a spice?
Good Food and Wine Show @ MCEC (3-5 June) – is Don.
eat & drink by the sprink
Ides @ 92 Smith St, Collingwood – when I don’t have to make a decision about anything, it is a good day for me which is what makes this restaurant my spirit animal. The menu offers six courses and THAT IS IT leaving you literally with hakuna matata for the rest of your days. For young ex-Attica chef Peter Gunn there are zero effs given and he just serves whatever the hell takes his damn fancy, keeping it dope boi fresh as he changes it up weekly so no two visits are the same. The dishes are not always perfect but like Carla Delevingne’s eyebrows they are daring and bold. I took personal offence to the sweet potato broth with smoked eel, black lentils and semphire oil – it felt like a warm balloon of smokey, salty, humble heaven in my mouth.. but up the back in the corners near the bottom of the jaw, you know, where only the best tastes can reach. I legit had a moment with that dish. The wine pairings were interesting and ranged from saki to local brews to regional drops. The dessert was a pistachio and date tart shell filled with orange chocolate, ice cream and honeycomb SAY WHAT. Maaan, when I re-read over this I just think this Peter guy is a jerk. It was really, really frickin good. Like really
next weekend in melbourne
Winter Wine Weekend @ Mornington Peninsula (11-13 June) – don’t whine about winter this weekend, wine about winter this weekend.
Woodend Winter Arts Festival @ Woodend, Macedon Ranges (10-13 June) – an arts festival for Hobbits. No wait that is Bagend, you’re wrong. An arts festival for Hobbitses. No it’s not. Filthy hobbitses. STOP IT Filthy little Hobbitses stole my precious Oh ha ha, cool, hey Gollum.
Winter Jazz Festival @ Mornington (10-12 June) – the place to reuse goggles and safety glasses purchased last week.
Weekend Fit for a King @ (11-12 June) – it depends which fit king you are referring to because Henry, Elvis, Kapisi.. ya know?
Rutherglen Winery Walkabout @ Rutherglen (11-12 June) – would you like to walkabout with Sam or would you rather, Glen?
Heathcote on Show @ Heathcote (11-13 June) – there is literally no end to the wine festivals over Her Maj’s birthday.
Wine & Wildlife @ Healesville Sanctuary – watch Australian native animals enjoy local wines.
Comi-Con @ MCEC (11-12 June) – nerds (and most of my ex’s) unite.
National Celtic Festival @ Port Arlington (10-13 June) – bag pipes, poetry recitals and Celtic craic.
Asian Street Food Weekend @ Preston Food Truck Park (10-13 June) – everyone’s favourite kind of food is poshing up and getting served outta trucks
Melbourne Cabaret Festival @ various venues in Prahran (14-26 June) – with the amount of wine festivals on this weekend, I just want to point out this is cabaret not cabernet.
Greg Semu-Raft of the Tagata Pasifika @ NGV (10 June-11 Sept) – a cast of twenty-two indigenous actors from the Cook Islands restage two European History paintings. This. Looks. Awes.
Jeppe Hein: Semicircular Space @ NGV (11 June- 16 September) – mirror mirror installation on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? C’EST MOI.