this weekend in melbourne
Books
2016 Melbourne Art Book Fair @ NGV (29 Apr – 1 May) – when I think about books, I touch my shelf.
Clunes Booktown @ Clunes (30 Apr – 1 May) – a weekend that is all booked out.
Festivals
Grampians Grape Escape @ the Gramps (30 Apr – 1 May) – headlining the event and singing her greatest hit ‘Vineyard Eyes’ is ARIA kween, Grape Ceberano.
Bright Autumn Festival @ Bright (22 Apr – 1 May) – a brightly coloured festival much loved by the peeps who peep.
Groovin The Moo @ Bendigo (30 Apr) – a festival for cows stuck in the 60s.
Gippsland Arts Festival (1-30 May) – cos Gippsland. Literally guys.
The Wellness Festival @ North Melb (30April) – namaste here clearing my chakra and work on my dharma. Where is Greg?
The Wine and Chocolate Festival @ Williamstown (30 Apr) – nothing to whine about when they serve you a chocolate cocktail. Until you’ve finished it.
Om Nom
Grampians Winemakers Barrique Reserve Shiraz Auction @ Grampians (30 Apr) – bid on a concoction made of different Shirazs from the region. Guaranteed to taste way better than the mix from THAT scene in Sideways. Which on a side note, is the most overrated movie of all time STOP OVERACTING PAUL GIAMATTI WE GET IT YOU ARE HIGHLY STRUNG.
Handmade Sausage Cooking Experience @ Red Hill (from 30 Apr) – I would get fired if I made the puns I wanted to for this one.
Croatian Wine Dinner @ Mornington Peninsular (30 Apr) – what do Croatians eat? What is their national delicacy? Crows?
The Australian Spirit Fair @ Cumulus Up (30 Apr) – Andrew McConnell and Qantas collaborate.
Learn it
Workshop: Greatest ’its Presented by The Good Copy @ NGV (30 Apr) – its not it’s, their not there, you not youse NEVER YOUSE. Gross.
Rihanna ‘Work’ Dance Class (26 – 27 Apr) – bust moves to RiRi’s most unintelligible chune.
Disco Yoga: Rock Your Body @ Luna Park (1 May) – a nice mix of disco, yoga, roller coaster rides and JT
Parallel Universes, Tagine & The Sky at Night @ Yarra Valley (30 Apr) – an interactive, astronomical journey through space and time. Vegetable tagine provided *does not include mushrooms*.
Cool stuff
The Saturday Morning All You Can Eat Cereal Party @ Astor Theatre (1 May) – shovel bowls of cereals into your head whilst watching Saturday morning cartoons from 40s -80s which will hopefully star old mates the Wombles, T-Bag, He-Man, Astro Boy, the Smurfs, Fraggles and the gang from The Mysterious Cities of Gold which still has the best cartoon intro of all time.
Art Red Hill @ Mornington Peninsula (29 Apr-1 May) – high on a red hill, is a lonely goat.. nope. That does not work in any way.
Polyphonic Social: Maydaymaydaymayday @ Abbotsford Convent (1 May) – sounding very much like a mashup between N*Sync and NASA.
The Dog Lovers Show @ Royal Exhibition Building (29 Apr-1 May) – celebrating everyone’s favourite family member.
St Collins Lane Pop Up @ Fed Square (29 Apr -1st May) – a pop-up of the posh-er kind that will be show-casing the soon-to-launch luxury fashion and dining destination. Not enough hyphens in that sentence.
Wuthering Heights @ Warrnambool (29 April only) – hoping the performance is just someone on the stage wearing a red dress, screeching Kate Bush.
eat & drink by the sprink
Friend or Pho @ 3 Ballarat Street, Yarraville – I freaking love this place. Positioned in the best pozzie on the street, this cool af restaurant serves up the best food this side of Saigon. The Pho is off its guts amazing with fresh everything, chilli will make you lose your taste buds for a month and friend chicken wings will make you want to propose to the closest thing that moves. Take your bf/gf and sit on the balcony in the sun being cute as, or bring your pooch/kids and sit on the grass slurping and chowing down on the best Pho in Melbourne. Yes I said it. Best. Pho. In. Melbourne.
this weekend in melbourne
Geelong After Dark @ Geelong (6 May only) – lots of prre-dark events held after dark and some after-dark events that couldn’t be held pre-dark.
Heathers the Musical @ Arts Centre (11 – 22 May) – Christian Slater was literally all over my school diary in the 90’s. I am so going to this like a Reality Bite to the head.
Welcome to Thornbury Twilight Market @ High Street, Northcote (11 May only) – featuring home wares, handmade jewellery, food trucks and pug tuxedoes this is possibly the most hipster thing I have ever heard of.
Singin’ in the Rain @ Her Majesty’s – starring the tappy Adam Garcia and a drippy 12,000 litres of water.
Henry Talbot: 1960s Fashion Photographer @ NGV (7 May – 21 Aug) – one of the few people who can get away with upskirting.
The Wicked Chocolate Festival @ Prahan Market (7 May) – who the hell named this festival? Have they ever had chocolate? CHOCOLATE IS YAS.