This Weekend in Melbourne (25-28 March)

Posted: March 23, 2016 by The Sprink

This Weekend in Melbourne

The Greatest Festival of them all

Melbourne International Comedy Festival @ all of the Melbourne – the paranoid, sleep deprived, drunk and highly anxious gather on stage for you to point and laugh at them. One team, one dream – ALL THEY WANT IS TO BE LOVED. 23 Mar – 17 April


Rip Curl Pro @ Bells Beach – Bells by the beach, ripped and curled by the pros. 25 Mar – 5 Apr


Whistler’s Mother @ NVG –  hoping they will also be displaying Mr Bean’s version. 26 Mar – 19 Jun

The Godfather in Concert @ Hamer Hall – the MSO play instruments with a heavy just-been-to-the-dentist accent.  31 Mar – 1 Apr

Aura Satz: In and Out of Sync @ Gertrude Contemporary –  watch a film that has been made from the abstract patterns of sound encoded as light, printed on the soundtrack area of the filmstrip and disrupted by scripted dialogue voice-overs. I’m not actually joking.  24 Mar


Melbourne Queer Film Festival  ACMI – fabulous films about fabulous people with fabulous hair, make up, style and dance moves. Not a stereotype, a fact. 31 Mar – 11 Apr

Bendigo Easter Festival@ Bendigo – 86,000 Easter eggs hidden in straw for 3,000 children to find, and 4,000 shots of insulin for afternoon tea. 26-27 Mar

Beechworth Golden Horseshoes Festival @ Beechworth – the world’s fanciest horse shoe has Manolo Blahnik 100% sure of his target market, despite SJP not be attending this year. 25-28 Mar

Man From Snowy River Bush Festival @ Corryong – damper, poetry, utes, and real men who like the snow, river and bush. 31 Mar – 3 Apr

Jailhouse Rock Festival @ Ararat – serving deep friend Mars bars alllllll day? 17 Mar

Kewl Stuff

Berwick Food Truck Carnival @ Akoonah Park – jeggings for errrybody JEGGINGS ALL ROUND I SAY. 30 Mar – 3 Apr. 

A Walking Dead Zombie Party @ Beta Bar – there is really good joke to make here about Diane Kruger and Norman Reedus, I’m sure of it, but I haven’t had enough coffee to get it right. 24 Mar


Matilda The Musical @ Princess – I know it’s Roald Dahl, but seeing Matilda on stage, I was like: hello 5yr old sociopath. Srsly bish be cray. Also this is an absolute must see. 13 March onwards

Superhero Training Academy @ Northcote Town Hall – if you got excited by this then it is safe to say your ex was probably right. This is for kids. #growup. 31 Mar – 1 Apr

Kids Shows and Family Comedy @ Melbourne International Comedy Festival – thought it was worth a mention that children are also permitted to larf out loud. 23 Mar – 17 April

Jurassic World @ Melb Museum – over 65? Don’t stand around for too long, or someone may try to take your picture or throw you a chicken. Srsly, tho this exhib is brilliant for all ages. 19 Mar–9 Oct

Next Weekend in Melbourne

Rain @ The Arts Centre – *KIDS* like Madge says guys, you gotta feel it on your fingertips, hear it on the window pane. 5-9 Apr

Silk @ The Arts Centre –  *KIDS* like worms say guys, you gotta feel it on your fingertips. 5-9 Apr

The 52 Storey Treehouse @ The Arts Centre – *KIDS* like Enid Blyton says, guys stop copying my ideas. The Faraway Tree was first. 1-17 Apr

ART-Town 2016 @ Chapel Street – artists, retailers and strutters celebrating  sketch, drawing, sculpture and painting en-mass. The very best reason to do Chap-laps. 2 -3 April, 9 – 10 April

Adventure Kids Festival @ Falls Creek – a festival for adventurous kids who fall into the creek. 2-3 April 

The Astor Turns 80 @ The Astor – celebrate this cinema’s big day through film, starting with an afternoon marathon of Bugs Bunny cartoons, a mystery 4pm screening followed by an evening screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.   

Cirque Adrenaline @ Arts Centre – get amped for the bad-asses of the circus arena. 1-10 Apr

Counter-histories, Defacement & Spaghetti @ A Centre For Everything – debate contested histories, learn graffiti tricks and chow on carbonara. 3 April

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